The Basis of Marriage

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:1

What is a marriage based upon? Many erroneously think that love is the foundation of any true marriage. Furthermore, they erroneously define love as a feeling. It is there, mysteriously, and then, some months later it is gone and the plaintive cry goes up: “Alas, I don’t love him (or her) anymore.” So, what is there to do, but get a divorce?

A marriage is not based on any feeling of love. This feeling of love is like a mysterious bird of paradise. We do not know where it comes from, why it comes to some, and why it leaves. But this mysterious bird of paradise flaps its wings, floats down on two people and they are “in love.” It is a glorious, marvelous wonderful thing. And so they get married. Two years later, they wake up one morning and decide that the bird has flown away. No one knows why. It is utterly mysterious. But it is gone. So, they must get divorced and then wander through life, waiting and hoping that once more that bird will descend from the skies upon their hearts. That is the secular view of marriage. The consequences have been devastating.

A marriage is actually built upon commitment. Feelings come and go. Feelings of love can proceed from that commitment. But feelings are not the foundation of a stable marriage. Until we understand this, there is little chance that our marriage will succeed. Marriage is a lifetime commitment to another person: “‘til death do us part.”

Lord, give us strength to live out (if so called) a Christ-centered marriage and to champion monogamy in this twisted and perverse generation…