“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church . . .”

— Ephesians 5:25

Since today is Valentine’s Day, let me take this opportunity to focus on marriage. Whether you’re married or hope to be married someday, I hope you’ll benefit from what I share.

If there’s one thing we all need today, it’s love in our homes. The Scriptures teach that the husband must love the wife (Ephesians 5:25) and that the wife must love the husband (Titus 2:4). But how must husbands and wives love each other? Unlike the message of many pop psychologists today, love is not a warm, fuzzy feeling, although warm feelings may grow out of true love. Instead, love is a commitment shown in acts of kindness and patience. The feelings will then follow, but by themselves, feelings provide a poor foundation for marriage.

We need to actively choose to love our spouses. We should do all we can to bring joy to their days, just as we did when we courted. Do you remember all you did when you were dating? Remember writing affectionate notes and planning romantic outings? Let’s regain some of that enthusiasm and apply it to our marriages, if we haven’t already. We can show our love in many different ways, even when we don’t feel like it. We should hunt for things that will please our spouses and put some sparkle and fizz into the relationship. If our spouses like or enjoy something, we should try to develop an interest in that area too. Even if we don’t feel the same level of interest, our spouses will feel loved just knowing that we want to please them.

Remember how, when you were first married, you placed your hopes and your dreams in the hands of your beloved? If any of that enthusiasm has fizzled, try to recapture it. Above all, strive to be the spouse that your beloved would like you to be. When both of you do that, you will have made this world a little bit of Heaven.

“Domestic Happiness, thou only bliss of
paradise that hast survived the fall.”
William Cowper